It's an odd thing, preparing for a wedding. There's so much that has to be considered that it's a wonder anyone has them anymore. Ours is rather big: we expect over 150 people to show up for our marriage. However, Jessica and I, despite our wonderful and generous parents, simply cannot afford to give every guest his or her golden diamond-encrusted party hat, which was my wish, so we're resorting to something a little more homemade. Since we're apparently more into arts and crafts than either of us originally thought, we've made our own invitations, party favors, table and name settings, and (eventually) programs. We're even making a slide show (thanks for the idea, Katie!) and have a painting that folks will be able to sign (thanks Anthony!).
We've had help: Jessica's sisters have been a Godsend, particularly Nicole and her keen sense of style; her mother, aunt, and cousins have helped where they can; my mother has been contributing ideas (and pictures!); and friends and family have promised to help organize everything on the day itself. This more than anything has made me feel like this day will really be something special. Seeing all of these people willing to take time out of their lives to not just watch us marry in exchange for cake (which alone is awesome), but to lend a hand wherever they can confirms for me that Jessica and I are blessed. And anytime Jessica or I struggle in our lives and think this world is against us (or perhaps the world of Mercury-- apparently it's in retrograde, which is bad somehow?), we can just think about all of the people in our lives who care about us and realize, hey, we're pretty damn lucky.
I've had a lot going through my head this past week. My work life has been stressful, and every night after work I need to stay up late and finish another task for the wedding. But all of that became noise when I heard about my grandmother. She suffered a stroke last week, and passed away over the weekend. She lived in New York near the City, and she was an extraordinary woman. This turn of events has, until very recently, put me on autopilot.
Even though my siblings and I grew up in the midwest and Grandma lived on the east coast, we got to see her relatively often. I loved visiting her in New York for the holidays, and sometimes we'd all travel to Florida and visit Disney World. More recently, I spent a summer living on the first floor of her large and amazing house, and it was one of the most memorable experiences of my life. Grandma (and my Uncle Frank) made my stay there feel like home, so venturing into NYC never seemed daunting. Even though the floor I was on had its own kitchen and everything, they'd invite me up for dinner and ask me about my day. I don't remember if I expressed to both of them how thankful I was for everything they did for me... I was family and they were ready to help me in any way they could.
I spoke to my parents, who've been in New York this past week, and my mom told me a story about Grandma. She said that when my Uncle Chris was getting married, there was a death in the family in the days leading up to the event. He asked my grandmother if he should postpone the wedding, if it was inappropriate to celebrate a marriage so soon after someone's death, and she replied that life takes precedence over death. The marriage should go on. It's a great comfort to me that Grandma would approve of our decision to move forward and get married as planned, and I know she'll be watching over us and both of our families when the big day arrives.
Living so far away from my family, I sometimes lose sight of how important they are. Everyone-- my family and now Jessica's-- mean a lot to me. After all that has happened, this is what I've realized about the upcoming wedding: it's not just about the reception, or the parties, or the ceremony itself. As cheesy as it may sound, it's about two families becoming one. I can't think of a better way to honor those that came before us than to continue living, continue loving, continue being a family.
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